


someone who i used to know

by ohmelifaro



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmelifaro/pseuds/ohmelifaro
Summary: Caleb feels so useless, so powerless, both feelings almost forgotten during his time with the Mighty Nein, but not being able to help a person he desperately wants to help… Caleb hasn’t felt this way in a long time.Mollymauk, apparently, has a tendency of making Caleb have feelings he hasn't felt in a long time.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	someone who i used to know

They are still trudging through the cold. 

Caleb would love to say that he, at this point, doesn’t even know how long they’ve been here, seemingly lost in this neverending kingdom of snow, but he knows, he always knows, thanks to his keen mind. He knows they’ve been here too long for his liking. 

It’s driving Caleb insane.

Vess still does not allow them to cast and, even though Caleb understands _why_ she doesn’t, it still is very frustrating. It is frustrating to keep struggling to walk in the thick snow, knowing that they could get back to Rexxentrum in a few seconds; or to the comfortable warmth of Nicodranas, to the dimly lit, but extremely comfortable interiors of the Lavish Chateau. It is frustrating to make a fire without using magic, but they need something to keep them - _somewhat_ \- warm during the night, since Caleb can’t cast the Dome. 

It is frustrating to see Molly - _or whoever the hell he is at this point_ \- like this, knowing that they could try casting Greater Restoration on him (which Caleb, to be completely honest, thinks has a very small chance of success, but there still is a chance), but they _can’t_. They can’t cast _anything_ , so they just have to watch Molly be a broken shell of their friend without being able to help. 

It’s driving Caleb insane.

He feels so useless, so _powerless_ , both feelings almost forgotten during his time with the Mighty Nein, but not being able to help a person he desperately wants to help… Caleb hasn’t felt this way in a long time. 

Mollymauk, apparently, has a tendency of making Caleb have feelings he hasn't felt in a long time. 

Caleb tries not to think about it too much, as he stares at the fire, too small to keep them all warm, but as big as they could manage without magic. Caleb is keeping watch tonight, something he hadn’t had to do in a very long time, usually safe and content under the magical dome.

His friends are sleeping in a pile, extremely close to each other, trying to not freeze to death. Beau is using Fjord as a pillow (something she would never do if she was awake), Veth in there _somewhere_ , Yasha’s hands wrapped around Caduceus, who is being used as a pillow by Jester - the only one entirely unaffected by the cold, but Jester is Jester, so _of course_ she is in the pile with them lot. Caleb smiles as he looks at them from his seat near the firepit, tugging his knees closer to his chest.

His smile fades when his eyes dart to Mollymauk’s slightly trembling form, who is lying curled in on himself, his back snug to the cavern wall, with as much space from the Mighty Pile as the interior would allow. Caleb knows he is not asleep - his breathing too even, his posture too stiff. 

Caleb knows this feeling. He felt the same way when he just started travelling with the Mighty Nein. Always tense, always on high alert, not knowing who he can trust and who he absolutely can’t and deciding not to trust anyone just to be safe, always ready to bolt the second something goes amiss. It breaks his heart to know that Molly is feeling this way.

Then Caleb hears sniffling; it’s very quiet, almost impossible to hear, but Caleb hears it nonetheless. 

_Oh, gods_ , Caleb realizes, making a connection between the trembling and the sniffling, _Molly’s crying_.

Caleb doesn’t know what to do with this realization. He never was good at offering comfort, and with Molly it always was the other way around - the tiefling pulling the wizard out of a panic attack, the tiefling soothing the wizards anxieties, the tiefling, always composed and always knowing what to do, always knowing what to say… 

But all of this was _before_. And Caleb wasn’t even completely sure it was Molly. It definitely wasn’t the bright and boisterous Mollymauk he used to know. But... Caleb still cares deeply for that person, whoever they were. 

Caleb knew he couldn’t cast a spell to soothe his… _friend_ , he knew he wasn’t good with words, but he also knew that he desperately wanted to help and trying wouldn’t hurt. At least he hoped it wouldn’t.

\- _Hey_ , - Caleb squirms a little at the sound of his voice: barely a whisper, but still entirely _too loud_ for the dead silent interior of the cavern; he sees the way Molly’s body tenses even more at the sound of his voice, the trembling and the sniffling stopping entirely. - _You can move closer to the fire, you know? It’s much warmer here_. 

Absolutely _not_ what Caleb wanted to say, but it at least gets the tiefling’s attention. 

\- _I know you are not asleep_.

 _That_ gets the tiefling to move. He rises slowly and moves stiffly, his limbs a little numb and unresponsive because of the cold. 

He moves closer to the fire and sits down, his posture stiff, his eyes not meeting Caleb’s own, but Caleb can see how red and puffy they are anyway. 

_Oh, Mollymauk_ , Caleb thinks, but doesn’t say anything.

They sit in silence for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, the tiefling seemingly captivated with moving flames and Caleb stuck deeply inside his thoughts.

\- _Caleb_? 

Molly still doesn’t look Caleb in the eyes, but he’s at least willing to talk, which makes the wizard weirdly proud. 

\- _Yes_?

\- _Why are you doing this_?

\- _Doing what_? 

Molly goes silent for a minute.

\- _Helping me… Why_? 

\- _You are my friend, Mollymauk_. 

The tiefling tenses up again at the sound of his own name. 

\- _I’m not, though. I am not the person you used to know. I might never be again_.

He sounds so sad that it breaks Caleb’s heart.

\- _I know. I don’t really care, though_ , - Caleb whispers, hoping not to wake up any of their friends. - _You don’t need to be the same person you were before for us to be friends_. 

\- _Can you tell me more about him?_ \- the tiefling looks Caleb in the eyes for a second only to see his confusion. - _About Mollymauk, I mean. What was he like?_

It makes Caleb’s heart ache.

\- _Of course I can_. 

Caleb is not good at telling stories, but he tries his best to paint the picture of the Mollymauk he remembers. He tells the tiefling sitting in front of him about the Mighty Nein’s adventures and shenanigans which Molly took part in; tells him about Molly’s favorite trinkets and about his pretty jewellery; talks about the conversations they had and the meals they’ve shared together; tells him about the… _incident_ in the mines and the way Molly changed all of them in some way.

\- _He sounds nice_ , - the tiefling smiles a little and _it’s so similar to the way Molly used to smile and it’s so different at the same time_.

\- _He is_. 

\- _I think I like him better than Lucien. From what I know, the dude was kinda a dickhead_. 

Caleb chuckles a little.

It breaks his heart to think how similar and how different at the same time this exchange felt to the ones he used to have with Mollymauk Tealeaf.

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello this is me trying to cope with the ep111. it's not going well. i haven't written fanfiction for over a year. i have never done it in english. i don't know how ao3 works. also this ficlet might be a pre-quel to a longer work. it might not be. who knows.


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